what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I love you. Go after that dick
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
