Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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