Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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