He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Randomize
