So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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