I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
