Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
