he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
fuck your aforementioned shoe
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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