would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
