You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
