I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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