i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
