Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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