You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
