i love accidental penises.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
