This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
