I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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