is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
