he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
