wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
