ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
