why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
