Im at strip club and am horny
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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