So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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