so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
