Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
operation harelip BJ is a go
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
