Sponge bath it is.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
