I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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