idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
