were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
