sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
