I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
