What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
please come you make the beer taste better
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
