i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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