it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
