She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
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