Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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