Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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