I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
