either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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