Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
