shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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