You made me cry and you don't even care
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
there is puke in my bra ... again
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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