I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
