come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize