Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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