i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Im part way to drunk.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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