I just made out with a guy for $7.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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