I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Bring me that man meat
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
