SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
