But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
