He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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