Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
