It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
either way he was missing a nipple.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
