Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize