I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
