Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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