talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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